ByteVibes

From a Star Trek enthusiast to a former trade union worker, women share their stories about why they chose the religious life

Sr Silvana Dallanegra, RSCJ talks about the importance of social media and tells women interested in the religious life to ‘Go for it girl!’

I call Sr Silvana on the landline and she apologises for not having a mobile signal - she was in the basement. Not walking the cloister in silence but running a hostel and helping the students she works with. Much of our conversation is spent talking about school (I went to one run by the Society of Sacred Heart) and people we know before I realise I’m wasting precious interviewing time, though she kindly assures me I was simply making a nervous guest feel comfortable before telling me about her life before joining the Society.

“I’m a cradle Catholic. I went to a convent high school where some of us flirted with notions of convent life, veils and religious names. But by my mid-twenties I was an independent, politically active, professional young woman. I was working for NALGO (which later became Unison), had my own flat, a boyfriend, career, social life... I even read the Guardian every day! And yet, deep down, I began to feel restless because I was searching for God. I came to meet and know the Society of the Sacred Heart when I discovered that one of our union members was a sister. That was way back in 1993 and I’m still here!”

Warden of a hostel for postgraduates in Oxford, Sr Silvana explains how the nature of her work means that no two days are the same.

“My door’s open most of the time so that students can say hello or if they need someone to talk to they can. I have a mantra which is that ‘God will provide’ which the students like and believe it helps for solutions. I’m also responsible for the province’s website and social media presence, so I ‘waste’ a lot of time on Facebook and Twitter! I think it’s vitally important to be in these places especially if you’re working with young people.”

On Twitter I saw someone say: ‘Why should the devil have all the best tweets?’

“We often get called nuns. It’s a kind of shorthand - an easily understood generic term largely arising from a lack of knowledge or having only watched Sister Act (nuns lead ‘enclosed’ lives and rarely leave their monasteries, whereas sisters express their vocation by being ‘active’ in communities. Though to make matters more confusing you call a nun a sister when addressing her). It’s more than 40 years since religious came out of their habits. We were one of the first congregations to have it as optional in the 70s, and yet the media still uses images of religious in habits to describe all religious life.

“I hope that sisters can be recognised by other things such as how they are as people. When I was in Spain, one of our sisters who I didn’t know very well had to explain the menu to me. Once we had ordered, a lady on the table next to us asked if we were religious sisters. We weren’t wearing any religious insignia so I asked how she knew. Do you know what she said? ‘It’s the way you were treating each other.’ Her daughter went to a Sacred Heart school and had observed how the sisters were together. ‘It was clear you didn’t really know each other but it was how you were being with one another.’ It was a blessing for me for something like that to happen so early in my religious life.”

Vocations from women to the religious life reached a 25-year high in the Catholic Church in England and Wales this year. With a vocation that came through Facebook (she took her vows last September), Sr Silvana shares her advice for women thinking about taking the same step.

“Yes there can be difficult things about the religious life, but there are hard bits to all walks of life - marriage or bringing up children is not a bed of roses. It’s easy to be paralysed in discernment. One of our sisters who entered in the 60s remembered agonising over it. Someone said to her: ‘What you want is a blackboard to drop from the sky and say that you will join the sisters and will be happy. But that’s not going to happen!’ This is a great life. If you’re called to it you will become the woman you’re meant to be. Go for it girl!”

Sr Louisa McCabe, OHP describes how it took ‘five years of procrastination’ to realise she wanted to become a religious sister

“It took five years of procrastination on my part, and the rug being pulled out from under my feet with a job loss, for God to really get my attention. As the pieces of my life settled back into their new places my perception of my vocation had also altered. With hindsight, I realise now that initially what I was called to was the life of prayer, but it wasn’t until meeting and spending some time with the Sisters of the Society of St Margaret, Walsingham that I realised that it was possible to have the life of prayer without being required to run a parish! I visited four communities initially, and each visit supported this realisation that prayer is where it’s at, and then began the process of visiting to join the Order of the Holy Paraclete, Whitby (OHP).

“I’m often found doing things in our library or working on the community’s website. One thing I’m working on right now is some displays for the Flower Festival we’re having towards the end of July as part of our Centenary celebrations. There are many ups and downs to the life. I made a deal with myself in October last year when I applied for First Profession. If the vote meant I was to leave OHP, I would dye my hair purple. They accepted me and I took vows at the end of January this year. So no purple hair.”

There is a lot more physical work than people imagine, especially as we foster two donkeys from The Donkey Sanctuary

“One of the best things I’ve done in my three years with OHP has been to attend the last two Greenbelt festivals, where camping in a habit is no stranger than the folks who camp in all their Goth clothing, and where people stop you and ask about the religious life.”

Sr Michaela Toulmin tells of her days from ‘fairground to convent’

Asking whether it’s a good time to speak, Sr Michaela informs me that she was just in the middle of mopping the floor. Apologising profusely to her she replies: “Don’t worry. The gardener will come in soon with his muddy boots on so i’ll have to do it again!”

One of 12 nuns of the enclosed order of Bernardine Cistercians at Hyning Monastery, Sr Michaela’s way of life is a far cry from her travelling show childhood.

“One of the reasons my family were surprised when I told them I wanted to be a nun was that I didn’t come from a particularly conventional Catholic family and we weren’t a practicing family. My early memories are of the family fairground, of clown stalls, dodgems, bright lights, ghost trains and candyfloss booths! In the 80s we had a week at school where different orders and priests came in so locals could ask them questions about what they do. I remember sitting in front of a sister with a timetable of the Divine Office on an overhead projector saying that they get up at 6am, and I thought ‘I’d never go anywhere like that’. Little did I know!

“Mum’s family were travelling show people, so for them the idea that anyone could stay in one place and not go out very often was very strange. My brothers were very against the idea and I didn’t see them for a long time and very rarely but my sisters were amazingly supportive. One of my friends when discovering I took vows commented, ‘Well you could probably live a life of chastity and poverty but you’ll never cope with obedience!’ I have to say she was almost right, obedience has been the hardest thing of all.”

A Bernardine’s day is mainly spent in silence and starts with Lauds at 6.30am followed by the other offices.

“We only talk for educational or business purposes, and of course if a guest passes by. Though during teatime and after our evening meal we have periods where we can speak. I’m in the kitchen most of the time as I’m the cook. When I’m not there I lead many of the retreats, write our annuals, and am librarian and bell ringer. Our main work is hospitality with some people doing the accounts and others tending to the vegetable garden. Each sister does different work depending on her gifts. Whenever the veg is in season we like to make jam - we’ve sold 50 jars of rhubarb jam in the last two weeks.”

Silence has always been difficult for me and I’ve never been very good at it

In the 21 years she’s been a nun, I ask her if she misses anything before she entered the monastery. “I was a big Liverpool football fan and used to often go to matches. I’m also a big science fiction fan and a massive Star Trek fan, so I miss going to conventions. We’ve actually got a prayer resource box with the TARDIS in it. It’s a great way to talk about prayer because Jesus is bigger on the inside than the outside. I’ve been a sister now since I was 22 and I’ve never regretted it. Life has been one long fairground ride with God and the ride never stops.”

Sr Joann Marie Aumand, SCC left home at the age of 15 to follow her ‘dream’

“I’m from Kingston, New York and attended St. Peter’s School where the Sisters of Christian Charity taught. My first experience with the sisters was a positive one and I loved them and wanted to be one of them. I wanted to join the community after 8th grade. At that time the sisters sponsored a private high school in Mendham, New Jersey for girls who felt called to religious life. My mom and dad wanted me to wait because I was so young but in the middle of my freshmen year they knew that I really wanted to enter, so with their help and blessing I began the process. I left home at the age of 15 to follow my dream and for 45 years I have been living it out.

“I was not scared because I knew that God was calling me. I loved being in the convent and living with the sisters. I missed my family very much but I loved God so much that I knew this is what I was to do. At the time I entered there were about 55 other high school girls from around the country who also attended. Many of them are still in the community and it is really nice to share our experiences with each other.

“My journey has afforded with me with many opportunities to be with God’s people through teaching and administration in both elementary and high school. I have been director of the Archdiocese of Newark’s immigration, refugee resettlement and human trafficking programs. I have served as our community’s novice director, and as a pastoral associate at Ss Peter and Paul in Hoboken, NJ. Just recently I have been nominated and appointed to be on my community’s leadership team and will collaborate with three other sisters to serve in our eastern province.

“Being a sister has given me the opportunity to meet many types of people and learn from them. I have so many memories of my students, their parents, staff, and co-workers over the years. It’s difficult to pick out a few to share their story but I will try. I play the guitar. And I’ve given guitar lessons to many of my students over the years. Just last year I received a phone call from a boy I gave lessons to over 20 years ago who is now a professional guitar player. I remember the years I taught 8th grade and somehow got roped into being the assistant cheerleading coach!

“That was a memory for sure. Through the 10 years I was a teacher I had a lot of fun! Some children you can’t forget. I recall the year I tutored two little blind girls and recall how they ‘saw’ life more than I did. I remember my first day doing supervision on the playground as a principal. The kids came screaming to me and told me Mara’s legs fell off. I gasped and ran to find a little girl whose two wooden legs had disconnected and only needed to be bolted together again. I later found out that she lost her legs in a fire when she was only a few months old.

“It doesn’t seem possible that I have been a sister for 45 years... it sounds long and old, but I feel young and I’m thankful and grateful for my life and for all the people who have been part of it. To all of you who are journeying with me right now in Hoboken, at this juncture of my life, I say thank you and know being here with you is just fantastic!”

Sr Miriam Elizabeth Bledsoe, OSH says they are pushing the monastic life into the future

“I am a sister with the Order of Saint Helena, an Episcopal monastic order for lay and ordained women. We are a mixed order, saying our prayers in chapel five times a day and doing work and ministry out in the community. We also provide hospitality for those on retreat in our guest house. We currently live in Augusta, Georgia and are building a new convent in North Augusta, South Carolina where we will move this summer. We are known for our inclusive and expansive language breviary (prayer book) and for pushing the monastic life into the future.

“I am the newest sister in the community, currently under an annual vow of poverty, chastity and obedience, that is renewable for 3-5 years. At the end of that time, God willing, I will make life profession. I am also a priest in the Episcopal Church. I work in ministry as a spiritual director, retreat presenter, and priest and pastor for a small church community. I also work in the hospitality ministry of the order. I love my life and believe I am called by God to be here.

When asked about the common questions she’s faced as a religious sister, Sr Miriam Elizabeth mentions three types.

“The first refers to visible things like why we don’t wear a veil with our habit or why we have knots in the belt or cincture we wear with our habit or about our strange vocabulary. A second type of question has to do with practicalities such as “What do you do all day?” or “How do you support yourselves?” The third type or level of questions people rarely ask, but are what we consider fundamental. These are questions about why there are monks and nuns at all and what purpose do they serve. When someone begins to ask these questions it can be a sign that they are exploring the possibility of a call to monastic life and that excites us a great deal!”

Our sister, Mary Michael, was the first Episcopal religious sister to be ordained to the priesthood in 1977

“We no longer wear the veil with our habit and we wear the habit only for particular events and liturgies. We wear regular clothes for our every day work and don the habit for feast day gatherings, retreats, conventions and other special occasions. We have several women in discernment with us at the moment between the ages of 20 and 40. Discernment is key and is ongoing for several years, even after a woman comes to live in the community. We are hopeful about the future of monasticism and about the Order of Saint Helena in particular.”

You can read other stories from nuns and sisters on GuardianWitness

ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7tbTEoKyaqpSerq96wqikaK%2Bfp7mle5FpaG5nnZbGcH2UaKWupqNirq%2BwjKygrKyVp8Bur8eroKysmZa7qsDYZqmepJmctrC6jJymp66Vo8Fuv9OoqaKdow%3D%3D