Rude boys: top 10 sweariest band names | Music
Rude boys: top 10 sweariest band names
This article is more than 10 years oldIt's hard to think of anything as forthright and attention-grabbing – and big and clever – as putting rude words in a band name. Here are just 10 of the rudestWarning: This blogpost contains language that some may find highly offensive
Coming up with a suitable name for your band can be tricky. Should it convey something about your music? Do you go short and punchy, or long-winded and evocative? Definite article or no definite article? And, perhaps most importantly, should it or should it not be an outrageous obscenity that'll scupper your chances of commercial success while also upsetting your mum?
One band who clearly couldn't care less about getting played on Radio 1 is Shitfucker, recently brought to our attention thanks to their inclusion on the Quietus's top 100 albums of the year list.
"Shitfucker are very much a black metal band," writes the Quietus's Noel Gardner, to the surprise of absolutely no one. "Roughly produced satanic ugliness made by horribly grinning beer monsters who pride themselves on being … badly behaved."
If you are going to call your band Shitfucker, it makes sense to make satanically ugly music; it's unlikely anyone's going to be rushing to Spotify to see whether the latest Shitfucker might be suitable for soundtracking a John Lewis Christmas ad. A good sweary name can give valuable advance warning that your music might not be to everybody's taste – and it's hard to think of anything as forthright and attention-grabbing, not to mention big and clever, as putting rude words in a band name.
We asked around to see if anyone else knew of bands that rival Shitfucker in the sweary stakes, and here are a few of our favourite suggestions. Please be aware that some of the songs linked to are extremely offensive – proceed with caution.
Do you know of any other acts we ought to add to the sweary roll-call? If you do, why not test the tolerance of the Guardian's comment moderators and let us know in the thread below?
The Shy Teds
Nominated by: @idsglos
Sweary rating: 4/10
Sample track: They're a covers band – here they are doing Basket Case
At first glance, a "shy ted" seems like quite a nice thing to allude to – like a timid child's teddy bear perhaps.
Pearl Jam
Nominated by: @RobSkilbeck
Sweary rating: 4.5/10
Sample track: Jeremy
Not swearing per-se, but Pearl Jam pick up extra points for slipping an extremely rude euphemism into the public domain with hardly anyone noticing.
Arse Full of Chips
Nominated by: @isaacashe
Sweary rating: 5/10
Sample track: Are You That Bloke Who Got His Willy Out?
Arse is quite a rude word. Combine it with misplaced chips, as these Loughborough-based jokers have, and you've got sweary-name gold.
Kunt and the Gang
Nominated by: @DannyinBelfast
Sweary rating: 6/10
Sample track: I Was Pissed Out of My Head
It sounds exactly like one of the rudest words there is – but it's spelt a bit differently, and there are real people in the world with the surname Kunt, Kuntz or Kunter, and it's really time we all grew up and stopped smirking about that.
Fuck Buttons
Nominated by: @krazypinkminx
Sweary rating: 6.5/10
Sample track: The Red Wing
So well-established are Guardian Film & Music cover stars Fuck Buttons that the swearing barely even registers these days. Also, the sweariness is tempered by the "buttons". How can a button be offensive?
Fuckshovel
Nominated by: @Banananey
Sweary rating: 7/10
Sample track: Schizophonic
A fuck-shovel is at least one degree ruder than a fuck-button.
Fuck Fuck
Nominated by: @sarcasticlion
Sweary rating: 7.5/10
Sample track: Helluvaguy
Fuck Fuck are presumably trying to out-"fuck" all the other bands with "Fuck" names (see also the US band Fuck). However, chances are they'll be superceded by the soon-to-be-formed Fuck Fuck Fuck, who will themselves ultimately lose out to Fuck Fuck-Times-Infinity-Plus-One Fuck.
The Very Thought of Fucking Hitler
Nominated by: @XnulianRrudho
Sweary rating: 8.5/10
Sample track: unavailable
Not just the F word, but also a reference to Hitler – does it get any more edgy than that?
Anal Cunt
Nominated by: @_chrisjones_
Sweary rating: 9.5/10
Sample track: Defenders of the Hate
In case you couldn't guess from their name, grindcore-band Anal Cunt's entire raison d'etre was causing offence, with songs such as You're Gay, Ha Ha Holocaust and I Went Back in Time and Voted for Hitler. We really don't recommend googling for more of their song titles.
Maggot Stuffed Cunt
Nominated by: @_ForkandKnife_
Sweary rating: 10/10
Sample track: Vomit Coated Glistening
Well done lads, that really is a very rude name indeed.
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